9:16, 10 seconds, handheld street-vlog realism, natural daylight, NO subtitles. A chubby ~1-year-old white toddler with blonde hair + blue eyes, fully dressed in a cute onesie, tiny puffer jacket, beanie, and little sneakers, waddles down a sidewalk with subtle UK vibes (UK street sign / red phone booth in the background). A reporter’s microphone pops into frame.
0–2s Reporter (off-camera, sprinting): “STOP—IT’S YOU AGAIN! Quick interview!” 2–4s Reporter: “It’s CES week—what’s your big announcement?!” 4–6s Toddler (deadpan, tiny British accent): “Here we go again… I’m not launching a phone. I’m launching a nap.” 6–8s Reporter: “Golden Globes Sunday—who wins?!” 8–10s Toddler points at a nearby line of people, gives a royal wave: “Queue first. Questions later. Cheers.”
The mic accidentally bumps a street sign, makes a loud BONK, reporter gasps—hard cut.