9:16, 10 seconds, handheld street-vlog realism, natural daylight, NO subtitles. A chubby ~1-year-old white toddler with blonde hair + blue eyes waddles down the sidewalk like a tiny celebrity. Fully clothed (onesie + leggings + little jacket + beanie). Over the clothes, a puffy diaper-shaped outer cover (looks like a diaper, but no nudity). A reporter’s mic darts in.
0–2s Toddler power-walks. Reporter rushes in. 2–4s Reporter (off-camera): “OH! It’s you again! CES week—give us your viral line!” 4–6s Toddler (stone-cold): “Here we go again… I’m booked. I’m busy. I’m BABY.” 6–8s Reporter: “One more! Very British this time!” 8–10s Toddler squints at the mic, then says: “Mate… put me in the queue. I run this pramliament. Innit.”
Toddler gives a tiny royal wave and keeps waddling. Reporter whispers, defeated: “He did it again…” hard cut.