Vertical 9:16, ultra-realistic live-action video, NOT animated, NOT cartoon.
Natural phone handheld, one continuous take, same camera angle.
Identity lock: white/Caucasian only, blond parents, chubby 12-month blond toddler, consistent identity. No dark skin, no different ethnicity, no face swaps.
Toddler never looks at camera; face unobstructed.
Same hospital setup, police in doorway.
Toddler walks in center (steady but baby-like), points rapidly, talkative:
Toddler: “Officer! Officer!”
Toddler (points at babies): “Baby… baby… baby!”
Toddler looks up at dad: “Dad… why?”
Toddler (hands on hips, tiny boss): “Who ordered this?!”
Dad laughs while rocking newborn.
Toddler spins to police, points at bed: “You see?!”
Toddler (TK punchline): “This is above my pay grade!”